Whether you love them or hate them Christmas crackers and the jokes within them are one of the fundamental elements of any festive meal - even though they are often terrible! They do have a way of bringing us all together, however, even if it is in collective dismay. 

In a bid to spread some holiday cheer, we have trawled the internet to find some Christmas cracker jokes that only teachers would find funny. Enjoy! 

Christmas cracker jokes only maths teachers would find funny

Q: Why do mathematicians confuse Halloween and Christmas?

A: Because 31 Oct = 25 Dec.

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Q: What happened to the Christmas tree in the maths classroom?

A: It grew square roots.

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Q: Why didn't the two 4s want any Christmas dinner?

A: Because they already 8!

Christmas cracker jokes only science teachers would find funny

Q: What does Santa drink at Christmas?

A: H2 Ho Ho Ho

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Q: On the first day of Christmas what did the science teacher give his true love?

A: A partridge in a Petri 

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Q: What was Santa’s favourite subject at school?

A: Chemist-tree

Christmas cracker jokes only English teachers would find funny

Q: What do you call Santa’s helpers?

A: Subordinate Clauses

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Q: What do elves learn in schools?

A: The “elf”-abet

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Q: How is the alphabet different on Christmas from every other day?

A: There’s Noel! 

Christmas cracker jokes only geography teachers would find funny

Q: What carol is heard in the desert? 

A: ‘O camel ye faithful!’

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Q: What is Santa’s primary language?

A: North Polish

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Q: What did Santa ask Rudolph about the weather?

A: Is it going to rain dear?! 

Christmas cracker jokes only music teachers would find funny

Q: What is the best Christmas present in the world for a music teacher?

A: A broken drum, you can’t beat it!

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Q: What kind of music do elves like best?

A: ”Wrap” music! 

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Q: What do ?sh sing during winter?

A: Christmas corals

Christmas cracker jokes only PE teachers would find funny

Q: What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?

A: An abdominal snowman 

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Q: How did Scrooge win the football game? 

A: The ghost of Christmas passed!

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Q: What is an elf’s favourite sport? 

A: North-pole vaulting.

What are your favourite Christmas cracker jokes? We’d love to hear them. Tell us in the comments below. 

And don’t forget if you are looking for a new role after Christmas, then we can help. We are currently on the lookout for teachers, teaching assistants and other non-teaching staff to work in schools all around the West Midlands. Submit you CV online now or take a look at our latest roles.